I posted this one sa Friendster around summer of this year, after I had some "miscommunication" with a very "dear" friend of mine (basta yun na yun, matalino naman kayo. haha!). Wala lang, naaliw lang kasi ako nung nakita ko ito ulit. Obviously a lot of things happened and changed since I wrote this one. Bottom line, ayun, hindi pa din kami ok till now. Hahaha! But that's not my point kasi why I reposted this one here. Basta, hope you'll see what I want to say pag nabasa niyo na ito (hopefully... without me sounding like a preacher or anything haha!).
Sometimes, it’s all about having a different perspective in order to make a “bad” thing look like a “good” one. Para bang ang walang kamatayang topic about seeing a glass of water either half-empty or half-full.
Minsan, sa ganitong paraan e nakakahanap ka ng sagot sa mga katanungang akala mo’y wala na talagang pag-asa pang masagutan o kaya naman ay makakahanap ka ng ilang mga senyales kung bakit nga ba nangyayari ang mga bagay-bagay sa paligid mo at sa buhay mo.
Not so long ago, I was questioning myself and Himself why things had to go the way they went. Was that kind of “falling out” necessary? Where do I go and what should I do afterwards? I was desperately trying to make sense out of what had happened.
Bitterness filled me inside for a while. Back then, the only consolation I gave myself was the fact that I was still human after all, capable of being hurt every now and then (akala ko kasi bato na talaga ako). Then in my moments of silence, I told Him that I know things happen for a reason and that I’m just letting Him take it over for me.
Soon after that, I found myself going all over places and doing things that I didn’t usually do before. I suddenly found my summer schedule so full of activities and happenings. From climbing mountain summits to island-hopping to visiting numerous tourist spots up north (and in a few days and weeks in the southwest as well... wait for me island paradise! Haha!). I made (and still making) more than a handful of new friends out of those trips and began to widen my social circle again.
Also, I don’t know if it’s mere coincidence or not, but long lost friends from the not-so-distant past also began showing up again. Old ties were rekindled and it paved the way for numerous reunions and get-togethers afterwards (mga pipol kita-kits uli a, monthly na dapat yun!). All of these gave me a new sense of fulfillment, joy, and hope that I thought I already lost.
With all these things keeping me happy and busy lately, I began to realize that maybe, just maybe, this is exactly how He wanted it to be all along. Probably it was His way of saying to me that there are still bigger things ahead of me, for I am pretty sure that I cannot really do all these things that I’ve done lately (and those plans still waiting in the wings) if I was still in their (her) company.
No, I’m not sour-graping nor trying to make excuses just to justify where I am right now. Enough with the bitterness inside me, it only leaves a bad taste in the mouth. It’s just that things are slowly making sense for me and if these are the result of what happened before then I think I’m ok with it.
For sometimes, losing something (or someone) no matter how dear it is to you is necessary in order to make room for a bigger and much better one. I’m sure our paths would still cross each other sooner or later for we’re living in such a small world. I’m beginning to be at peace again and starting over smoothly, and I’m sincerely hoping that they (she’s) feeling the same way as well.
with Ely Buendia
